Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
