After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
COCAINE IS GR8
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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