so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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