Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
