Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
