She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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