There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
