Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I will pee on everything he values.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
