He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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