dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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