I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
