i need an iv and a liver transplant
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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