What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
