They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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