I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
