If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
