do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
