The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
