I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
