The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
