Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
