K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
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