Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I understand Curling. That high.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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