I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
