my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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