So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
