no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
