Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
