Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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