you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
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LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
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I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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