If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
