South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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