I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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