D3 body, D1 cock
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
