I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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