Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
