A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
