True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
