at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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