I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
