Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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