do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize