I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
