Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize