I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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