yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Edward fifth and chaser hands
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Im part way to drunk.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
