I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
