Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
