people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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