A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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