Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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