does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
