i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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