he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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