this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
