i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
