After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
