Just fell off a train. Bad.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
bring money and cleavage
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
