I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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