So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
