O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
