i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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