She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
