My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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