butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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