I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
