Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize