She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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