as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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