Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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