someone threw a dead crab at me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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